Wednesday 15 June 2011

DIrty Thunderstorms, or, There's Ash in my Lightning

I'll provide little of my tiresome exposition on this one, because it really doesn't need it.
This volcanic ash cloud is...shocking! Ahem
Precisely what it looks like. Ash particulate collides and produces static, and acts like a thunderstorm. And then that happens. There is nothing more to say on the subject, other than that it is truely awesome.

Sorry for the pun
Onion Head Hat

Europa Universalis - Turks, rebellions and reformation.

 I'll admit, im an armchair historian. I find it an infinitely intriguing subject, from ancient history to modern, from Carthage to Serbia. Some bizarre facts, that sometimes seem obvious in retrospect, can be upturned with very little research. For instance, it had never occured to me before where the Turks originated from. Turkey, or more specifically the Anatolia, or Asia Minor, had been occupied by the Roman Empire, and later the Byzantine after the split, for hundreds of years. I origianally assumed the turks came from here, but the Turks of the Ottoman Empire, which toppled Constantinople and the last remnants of ancient Roman culture, were, in fact, part of the Mongolian invasion/colonisation westward. Obviously today interbreeding and cultural assimilation with both Europe and the Middle East has lessened their connection to their origins in the east, but I find still find that a bizzare, and yet strangely obvious, fact.
Modern Turkey. Anatolia is the central landmass, while Thrace, the site of Istambul, is in the North West
 My research into the origins of modern day Turkey were not spontaneous, though. In fact, all that up there was a preamble to what I really wanted to talk about in this post. Sorry about that.
 You see, strangely enough the Ottoman Empire has become something of a recurring problem for me, with their aggresive expansionism and hordes of Turkish warriors. Time and time again they've scuppered my grandiose plans of conquest. For anyone who recognised the title this will, hopefully, make sense. For those not in the know, i've become somewhat OBSESSED with a little game called Europa Universalis. 3, to be precise.
 There are few video games that have managed to hold my attention in quite the way that EU3 has managed to do, nor to my mind been such good value for money. Now, while this may be heavily influenced by my interest in history, and probably a latent God complex that's satisfied by altering the course or history, I also think it's good strategy game seperate of these things.
 So, what is EU3? The player takes control of any nation of their choosing from 1399, Henry IV's accession, to 1821, the death of Napoleon, and though the timeline is somewhat reduced without the expansions it's still a significant chunk of history. The player is given control over military, diplomatic, religious, economic and, well, any aspects of a state that you can really imagine. This may sound daunting, and at first it is. In fact, even after a good deal of time playing it  can be. It's extremely easy to win a war against a foreign power, and yet still bankrupt your nation and fall prey to internal divisions and rebellion. This balencing act, however, is part of the fun, and getting it right makes it all the more satisfying to drive your enemies before you.
 Despite this, though, i'd argue that, as far as grand strategy games go, the user interface for EU3 is streamlined and, after a time, intuitive. Drawing a comparison to another of Paradox Interactive's outings, Hearts of Iron II, I found it extremely involving without being too overwhelming. Hearts of Iron II, a grand strategy game focusing on the second world war, was baffling to the extreme. While you could probably grasp the interface after a time, it's far quicker and easier to do so in EU3, or at least to grasp enough of the basics to make the game playable while you work out the more esoteric mechanics.
 This ties in with another problem of grand strategy that I think EU3 manages to avoid. Frankly, Hearts of Iron II was boring because it was slow. Really slow. Unbelievably. Slow. I simply can't stress this enough. One strategy guide I came across actually suggested to have a book to read in the slower parts of the game. Now, im alright with slow gameplay to a degree, but if you have to keep yourself entertained with another form of media while you're already doing something which, logically, is supposed to entertain you, then I think something's gone badly wrong.
 Hence why I like EU3, things are always occuring. When you aren't stomping on, or being stomped on by, your neighbours, you're trying to maintain religious unity, putting down rebellions, marrying your way into other lines, causing havock with spies, improving infrastructure and so forth. And all this remains entertaining because it can happen so fast.
 Not that the game is without its problems, of course. For instance, the method for annexing other nations is somewhat unrealistic, putting a cap on the ammount of land you can annex in a single war, even if you occupy an entire state and have removed them as a military threat entirely. The technology system also lends its favour heavily to the computer, as they are far better able to take advantage of research bonuses that the simple, fleshy brain of the player. The game mechanics also tend to produce some very odd results from AI controlled nations, such the United Kindom forming, almost without fail, by the early 16th century, or the inevitable expansion of France throughout Spain and Germany.
 Still, i'd recommend EU3 to anyone who had an inclination to try a grand strategy game for the first time. If you're awful at RTS, much as I am, then you may enjoy the change of pace. Likwise, if you have any interest in the historical content, or 'what if' scenarios then i'd recommend it. It also plays nicely to dellusions of granduer, becuase seriously, who doesn't want to be the Emperor of Everthing?

If you're interested, here's the official site and the wiki.


Thanks for reading, and if anyone's out there, i'll try to update more regularly than I have been.

Onion Head Hat

Sunday 5 June 2011

World of Warcraft and Human Rights violations

Ah, the folly of youth. I wasted many an afternoon wandering the virtual plains of Durator or the misty jungles of Stranglethorn Vale. Did I enjoy it? Certainly! Until I started to noticed the futility inherent in the game. I prided myself that my little chap was better than his little chap, or his little chap, and that one day he'd be better than his little chap, cause that chap is a real bastard of a chap. But why? What did I gain from all of this? Once I tired of the grinding, I gave up. Or more specifically, I went to a variety of semi-legal private servers where my little chap could make a meteroric rise though the varied and ecclectic numbers to the dragon slaying, city storming heights of the number 80.

However, a far more serious abuse of Blizzard's property exists. On the periphery throughout my time in the legit servers were strange, naked men who would jump around shouting about how their gold was cheaper than the gold of the next naked jumper, and how, for a small price, they would give you all the gold you could ever want. Who were these folk, I sometimes wondered, that they make their living from this faux world of orcs and magic? Well, now I know, and it's fucking shocking:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/25/china-prisoners-internet-gaming-scam

...take a moment to process that. Imagine it, if you will. Rows of filthy, forsaken chinese political prisoners, fresh from breaking rocks, logging in and industriously abusing the lands of Azeroth for the profit of the glorious People's Republic of China. I don't think I need to elaborate on how absurb that is.

This is certainly one of those times when the virtual, if you can really use that word anymore, and the very real cross over. It's happening more and more. After a cyber attack on Iran that left the security at one of their nuclear reactors in turmoil the UK government has created a military branch dedicated to cyber warfare, and claimed that any aggresive online action would be considered an act of war. But that's only sensible. It's not as if an Iranian nuclear reactor was offlined by an Arcane Missile fired by a tiny man made of pixels.

The world never ceases to amaze, reader. Never.

Thanks for reading.
Onion Head Hat.

Saturday 4 June 2011

So, I suppose im starting a blog, then.

Firstly, hello reader! How are you? Had a good day, I hope? Well that's good/im sorry to hear that, im sure things will pick up.

So, this is a blog, which I am starting. This, im sure, you'll already have deduced. What is this blog about? That's a good question, and, to be frank, I don't really know yet. I do a lot of thinking, you see, and I often find myself thinking I should write some of it down. Yet, doing so on paper seems somewhat...hollow. So im hoping to put some of it up here, and maybe share my hilariously ill-educated and pretentious ideas with you, the reader.

Of course, that's not likely to actually happen. Let's be reasonable here, people are busy, and most probably i'll be too distracted to write long pieces regularly. But, any work I think is particularly good, anything I find in my explorations that I think is particularly interesting, i'll post here for you to look over and ponder. Bear with me.

Onion Head Hat